- "Argh! Rarh! Argh!"
Saren Arterius (alias Green Goblin), born 2139 is the longest serving Turian member of the Spectres - the elite military operatives answering directly to the Citadel council. For 24 years he has been a bumbling idiot, constantly botching missions and letting anarchy reign in the unsettled border region of the Skyllian Verge.
Official records of Saren's accomplishments are sealed, but it is known that Saren joined the military at the age of 15. In 2154 he was kicked out of the military after 2 months for general incompetence , after that he spent the next 5 years of his life in a drunken stupor going from bar to bar and paying off one credit card with another.
In 2159 The Council really needed someone to take a job they had, but all the real military people refused after they ordered all their Spectres to fly into the sun. They saw drunk homless Turian on the streets and drafted him into the Spectres, he became the youngest Turian, and worst qualified being ever accepted into the Spectres. with and IQ of 72, dull and incapable of making the most basic of decisions, much like the Council , Saren quickly developed a reputation of being drunk. Although there were a number of Petitions for a military tribunal after he ordered the military to open fire on on a city killing 40000 civilians and decimating the ecosystem of a planet (stopping a terrorist plot to blow up the city in the process), the Council was drunk when they heard the accusations so they just vomited on the carpet.
In recent years Saren has become a big racist. He hates humanity and has gone far enough to attempt to blow up the Turian homeworld while he was drunk, and blame it on humanity. Fortunately he slipped in a puddle and forgot what he was doing.
- Saren lost his brother in the First Contact war, although it was probably the Turians' fault for deciding to open fire on several unidentified vessels because they were going over the speed limit. Now he hates Captain Anderson because he doesn't think killing hostages is the way to stop a hostage situation.
Early Life Edit
- In 2139 Saren was born in the Turian Colony of Ithace (which is completely unrelated to the Greek city named Ithaca, It was an accident all Turian colonies are named after parts of Greece) His Father was an IT consultant for Elanus Risk Control who was earned 14.54 Credits an hour. However his father also had an addiction to achohol and Red Sand, he was constantly beating Baby Saren and his mother. Sarens Mother was a nice woman, she worked as a Waitress at the popular Turian restraunt, Kenny's, She was rarely home when Saren needed her (when his father was beating him with a beer bottle) and she was also addicted the Red Sand.
- In 2149 Sarens father sold his mother on the Batarian Slave Exchange for 500 credits to buy some more drugs. Saren was mortified and started to protest, but Saren's father called him weak and proceeded to beat the shit out of him, severely damaging his brain in the process.
- In 2150 Saren was moved to a foster home after his father won the lottery and managed to pay off Child Services to "Get that weak snot out of my sight!" In his foster home life was not much better for Saren, he was weaker than all over the other Turians and managed to break his bones 72 times in roughly 4 years, all from falling down the stairs. The only reason Saren kept going was because his mother had told him he was special and the military would need his talents and he might even become a General one day.
Military Service Edit
- As required by tradition in 2154 he joined the military, confident in his abilites. At the introductory meeting he managed to faint, and crack his skull on a chair. After 2 months of carrying water to the real soldiers he was kicked out.
The Green Goblin Edit
- In 2155 he was out of work and had almost no skills, except for the fact that he could ride a hoverboard (the only one in the galaxy to do so) as he was riding around in his hover board, Spiderman creator Stan Lee saw him. After the previous Green Goblin had died of an heart attack he made Saren an offer he could not refuse, he would get payed 20 credits an hour and he wouldn't have to suceed at anything. Saren was immediatly qualified for the posistion so in october he stared his casting carreer as the Green Goblin.
- Saren's first casting went well he was beaten by Spiderman again and again eventually he fainted from heat stroke and had to be carried off the set. For the next 2 years he was the main antagonist in one of the most popular comics on Earth. However eventually the directors got tired of him constantly fainting from heat exaushtion (and in the winter cold exaushstion?) and they stole all his money and let their 13 year old sons beat him up. After this Saren was thrown into a ditch and started his life of drinking.
Life as a Spectre Edit
- In 2159 after 2 years of living in a drunken stupor most of his life, he happened across The Council(who had also lived in a drunken stupor most of their life), coming home from a night of heavy drinking.When they smelled the BO of 2 years of living in ditches, digging in trashcans for food and panhandling enough money to get booze. They vomited all over Saren. Seeing him in his drunken sate, the council immediately though of themselves. They then proceeded to offer him a job in the Specters. He accepted.